Age updates and quirky kiddos

Well good news about Martin’s age. We still don’t know for SURE what his age is in actuality but we did discover some government documentation stating that he turned 7 in May, 2011 which would make him JUST now 8 years old. This may not actually be accurate but it is awesome to have documentation showing he should be around 8 years old. This was a huge relief to us. Not only for legal reasons, since one of us needs to be 21 years older than him and Brad turns 31 in November, but also because 8 (ish) seems so much better to me than 10 as a mom who is only 27 years old. Silas just turned 6 so Martin is just 2 years ahead, which I think is a good age-gap. We recently met with a sweet couple from our church who has adopted 2 kids from Russia and when I told the mom that I had originally wanted to adopt a baby girl, she reminded me that it is always best to let God structure your family. Amen to that! His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. That has given me so much peace throughout this decision-making process. It is so funny to see God working in our lives. I remember having a conversation with Brad before we went on our missions trip to Uganda about how I think we could be done having kids. Life could be more simple….maybe I could even find a way to make some extra income when Ellie gets older and we can have lots of SAVINGS and live “COMFORTABLY” and sit on the back porch and sip tea while our older kids peacefully go to bed…haha! I don’t think that comfortable world exists even with 3 older kids and I don’t think this kind of comfort is truly as comforting as I dream it to be. I think God has a much greater adventure in store for our entire family. It will surely be messy at times, it will surely require much sacrifice as it already has, we may lose sleep and wonder why we considered something so nuts as adoption, but I know it will be for God’s glory and our joy. We are so early in the process and already I have seen my kids want to sacrifice their belongings in order to adopt Martin, I have heard our kids praying for him and the other orphans daily, I have seen a hunger for prayer and God’s word increase in our lives, I have seen God give us energy for all of the things on our plate, I have felt God grow our love for a little boy half-way around the world more than I could have ever imagined, and I have seen God graciously confirm to me over and over that this is will is for us. We finally completed our 10 hours of online training and now we wait for the results of our home study from our social worker which should take around 2 weeks.

This week God was giving me a great appreciate for my quirky gang of kids here at the house. We are loud and opinionated and a bit scary at times, but we sure know how to have fun. 

 Silas and Noah are 19 months apart. We did not intend to have children so close in age. That was completely God's idea. The early days and months and even years with these boys and their opposite personalities were INTENSE to say the least. The growing that God did in Brad and I during those early months and years were so hard on our flesh, and so good for our souls. I see how much God uses Noah in Silas' life and Silas' in Noah's life. Boys are strong and they are exhausting and messy and destructive and yet I LOVE them to pieces. Wouldn't trade them for anything.

Ellie figured out last week how to be a diva. This is her "life is too boring so I need add some drama" face. There is really no reason for this. She does this face in her high chair all the time....but the face doesn't ever last for long....Its as if she knows that the drama is ridiculous.

Superheroes are a pretty big part of our lives. We wear costumes year round and we take the characters very seriously.

 My word for Silas is "EXTREME." Everything he does is extreme. Notice his costume wasn't extreme enough so he had to add a little bling to it for effect. I have many memories with this boy...we've scared many mothers in public. Silas is often seen don't flips off of random ledges, roaring, speaking his mind to strangers, and using objects and equipment in more creative ways than most... ya...that's a nice way to put it. :o)

 One more aspect of my quirky crazies that I love so much is that they have a deep appreciate for "COZINESS." Last night before bed, Silas decided to help Noah set up camp in a tiny corner while sitting on about 10 pillows and blankets and surrounded by their favorite toys and books just so they could be COZY!!! I love it.

I would like to leave you with a verse I read this morning that has stuck with me: "But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." Acts 19:24

Thank you for all your love and support!

Dinner For Two...on a Christmas Blanket

Going on dates is extremely important to Brad and I. We pretty much new as soon as Brad began working in ministry in 2008, that having time away together was vital to our marriage. We refuse to allow our marriage to work like a business....which it SO easily turns into. "I'll take care of this, you take care of that, I'll get up with the baby this time if you pay me back later... meet me back here at 5:30pm after work for our next business meeting..." We can't change the fact that our lives are a little nutty right now: 3 kids (ages 6, 4, 1), an adoption process (make that 4 kids!), and ministry (lots of people, lots of events, lots of ups and downs) . We love our lives and the crazy in it has really taught us what it means to find peace and rest, not through circumstances, but in our savior Jesus Christ. We know that dates won't cure any heart issues and they really aren't the answer to fixing a marriage like we've been told at times. Jesus is the only answer to those, but dates are a very useful tool in marriage. Lately we've been trying to save money so we haven't been going on dates as often, which actually helps us appreciate them more. So last night we got a babysitter for Silas and Ellie (Noah spent the night with his best bud) and we hopped in Brad's big 'ol white chevy truck, turned on some country music and headed out to Fort Worth...it is scary how much of a Texan I'm turning into after only living here for 4 and half years.

 We went to one of my favorite places: The Central Market in Fort Worth. I love just walking through the aisles with my husband and smelling, sampling, and dreaming of all the possibilities for perfectly healthy and delicious meals that I could make but never will because I have not yet won the lottery.  We picked out a few of our favorites for dinner and headed to the botanical gardens in Fort Worth.

 *Sigh...I love this moment. This is my "I'm on a date with my husband and I'm about to eat the best tomato soup EVER smile."

Here's my hubby! Because my SLR camera is too giant to take those cute little snuggle, while you awkwardly hold out your arm and force a smile pictures, we took them separately...just so you know that both of us in fact were present on our date :o)

This is how we roll: tomato soup, fresh rolls, sushi, chicken salad, and blueberry pie sitting on top of Christmas blankets.

It was a beautiful night. August in Texas is typically less than beautiful. This cool night, with a sunset that brought me back to my childhood in Kansas, eating good food with the man I love, talking and laughing about life, was such a gift to us. I'm such a task-oriented person, so give me a list of to-dos and I will put my head down and GO until I don't even realize how physically and mentally drained I am. This is where my husband comes in and forces me to just STOP. What I'm learning is that the tasks and the laundry and the paperwork and the dishes are ALWAYS there. They can ALWAYS consume me if I let them and all the while I will miss out on finding true joy in what God has put around me. That is my absolute downfall. This is why God designed my husband to be relationship-oriented, fun, and last minute. We are so very different. We were both very excited last night when we realized that both of us LOVE Fall...it is our favorite season! We DO have something in common! I'm so thankful that a healthy marriage doesn't hinge on commonalities!

For those of you who don't know anything about us or our marriage, here is our history in a very tight nutshell: I met Brad in college in 2003 through his sister Anna, Brad and I instantly connect, and Brad calls me up like a real man and asked me to go on a date. From there we dated for 5 months, got engaged, engaged for 6 months, married November 20th 2004, after 10 months of marriage, got pregnant with Silas, had Silas, when Silas was 10 months old, got pregnant with Noah, when Noah was 2 months old, we knew we were called into ministry and we moved away from our dear families in Kansas City down to Arlington, TX to go on staff at our Church, settled down here and got pregnant with Ellie when Noah was almost 3. So here we are almost 8 years into marriage and doing really well, by the grace of God! PHEW!!! If you need to go take a nap, I completely understand.

I could write forever on marriage but all I want to say is that every day we learn how much we need Jesus. In our marriage, in our parenting, in our ministry, in our adoption process. Last night was such a good chance to remember this, to celebrate, and to love each other. I am very blessed.

Real Men Adopt!

I read this article a few weeks ago and I have not been able to stop thinking about it!  I don't know why adoption seems to be promoted primarily through faithful women (bless them for that), but seriously, where are all the dudes at???  Thank you David Prince for reminding us that no man-card needs to be surrendered to carry out this mandate from Jesus Christ himself - the manliest of them all!

Check it out...

The Manliness of Adoption - Testosterone and Pure Religion

Beginnings

I'm excited to share what is going on in our lives for whoever may read it in hopes to encourage others and to have a place to document this journey! I want to look back on all God has done and praise Him for all of it. I'm a stay-home mom with 3 kids, a pastors wife, and in the process of adopting a little boy from Uganda! I am a planner, organizer, excel spreadsheet maker, and I love watching God take my "plans" and turn them into something so much better. I'm living in a house of crazies....seriously some of the most entertaining people on the earth and I figure the public MUST know about them! So here is my gang of Marvines (pronounced MARVIN...who knows why there in an "E").

My husband is an incredible man...doesn't he look so manly holding that drill and standing over piles of wood? I just love him. He may be the most opposite person of me right down to the tiny details of life like how we like our chips and salsa, but this man was put on this earth to be married to me. He teaches me how to laugh more, feel more, love more, and look to Jesus when I forget.

 I call Silas James "my strength." There are more muscles, personality, adventure, will, boy-hood and charisma packed into that little body than I thought possible in a human being. He came out of the womb sharing his strong opinions and hasn't stopped in 6 years. He is in 1st grade and freaking me out with his mature conversations. The other day after he got too rough with his brother he tried to convince me that he shouldn't have a consequence because I was a girl and I just didn't understand..."God made brothers to be rough with each other". Huh? What 6 year old thinks of that....there are many more stories to come about this crazy Marvine man!

 Noah Jordan is "my sweetness." He is our BFG (Big Friendly Giant). He is 4 years old and is the same size as his brother with bigger feet. He is sweet, shy, gentle, and OBSESSED with all things superhero/ninjago/transformers. The child loves toys. Sometimes at night he tiptoes in our room hours after we put him to bed and hands us a pile of his beloved action figures and says "will you put these somewhere far away so I won't be tempted to play with them?" Brad and I just love how his little mind works and his awesome questions like "mom why do we have tongues?" He is so sweet with his baby sister and is always giving random hugs and kisses that warm my heart!

There is a whole lot of boy-ness everywhere! I just love boys! They make life so exciting, they get me way out of my comfort zone, and they teach me to chill out and have fun! And yet there is some pink going on too...

Don't you want to squeeze her? This is my sweet girl Eloise Joy "Ellie" who I call "my sunshine." My mom thought of that name and I think it is absolutely perfect for her. She is so happy, so sweet, and so busy! She is now 14 months old and already a little mommy, feeding her baby dolls, trying on shoes and following her brothers around the house laughing while carrying action figures. She is always up for a laugh and I just love how she assumes that the world exists for her entertainment: if I blow my nose she erupts into laughter because mommy must be trying to make her giggle! I love this girl SO MUCH!

Ok so those are the introductions. Brad is the true writer of the family so he may be on here occasionally and he came up with the name "Held Together" for this blog. It is based off of the verse Colossians 1:17 "He is before all things, and in him all things hold together." This is a verse that has meant so much to me, especially in the process of adoption which we recently began. I struggle so much with feeling like I have too much control and I'm going to screw it all up...well I might screw things up, but God knew I would and I am only part of his creation who cannot mess up God's ultimate plans! Thank you Jesus! He is holding this family, marriage, adoption process, and my sanity together!

So why on earth are we considering adoption in this crazy life of ours? Brad and I took a trip in June to Uganda to support The Suubi Project which was started by an incredible family in our church. The suubi project is an orphanage, school, and church outside the capitol city of Kampala that is reaching people for God's glory. We left our kids with family for 10 days to go and preach, teach, help with a VBS, lead worship, and just love on the people who were there. It was hard and dirty and INCREDIBLE. It was so good to see what God is doing around the world and to be a part of it.

 Here is Brad leading the kids to their next station at VBS...he was pretty much in love with those kids by day 2.

 Here I am teaching songs to the kids during VBS...one of my favorite times of the day!

While we were there we spent a lot of time with the 13 kids who live in the orphanage near our guest house.  I knew this could be dangerous for Brad and I...hanging out with sweet, adorable, parent-less children. My idea of adoption was: fall in love with the Ugandan culture and come back in 4-5 years when Ellie and the boys are older and adopt a baby girl. So what was God's idea: adopt an OLDER BOY RIGHT NOW. Brad and I both absolutely fell in love with a little boy named Martin. We are still trying to find out how old he is, we think between 7-9 years old. He was very quiet and sweet and was always seen serving the kids around him. I tried not to want to be his mom because that was just a scary thought...where has he been all his life...I want a sister for ellie...life is too insane right now to adopt, but God did something to me. One day I was walking back to the house from a long day of VBS and Martin ran down the path, jumped into my arms, and said "HI MOMMY!" He took all of the bags off of my arms and carried them up to the house for me. What am I supposed to do with that? There were so many older kids there with no father, no mother, no family structure. I can give up my idea of adopting a baby girl for now to give one of these older kids a family for the first time if that is what God wants for us right now.

When Brad and I came home we were very ready to see our sweet kids and to pray and listen to the Lord's voice on what we were supposed to do with our love for this little boy. Adoption is such a scary thing for a planner like me...you can't plan or control ANY OF IT!!! Brad and I prayed together and separately and both felt God confirming to us in many ways that he wants us to pursue Martin and to TRUST HIM with the big picture and the end result. So my job is to take one step at a time and trust the Lord with all the many questions and fears that I have that I don't get to know the answer to right now. My heavenly father sent his son to DIE in order to adopt me and he has called us to adopt Martin, no matter what suffering may come. We know that our God will never leave us or forsake us and that is where our confidence lies.

So where are we at right now????

We just completed our home study a few days ago and are finishing some paperwork from that. I am still learning what the process is going to look like but we know it can take anywhere from 4 months to 2 years! In the midst of piles of paperwork we are working on doing some fundraising because we can expect this process to cost around $20,000…go ahead and gasp…I did when I heard it. If this is what the Lord wants for us, he will provide it!

Please pray for us! We have already seen what incredible things happen through prayer! God provided the money for our home study and we did not know where that would come from! We did recently find out Noah has to have his 3rd eye surgery in September or October which will be a big chunk of money that we know that God is fully aware of. Please pray for his surgery as well as our adoption process! If you feel led to help us out financially in this process you can donate through the paypal button on my blog. We are in the process of custom-designing a puzzle as a symbol of how God brought the pieces together for us to bring home Martin. You can purchase a puzzle piece for $25 and your name will go on the back of the puzzle piece to show how you were a part of bringing him home to us. We will be framing it and hanging it in our home. There is more info to come on that fundraiser!

We know that God will provide the strength, the courage, the funds, the patience, and the Grace to endure and find joy through this process!