Already but Not Yet

Hi Friends and Family!!!

Brad and I decided to change it up and make a video to explain where we are at in our adoption process...

Thank you for taking the time to watch!!!

Here is the information to send a tax-deductible donation to Lifesong for Orphans to help in our adoption process:

• Make checks payable to Lifesong for Orphans
• In the Memo line write: Marvine #3191 adoption
• Mail to:

Lifesong for Orphans

PO Box 40/202 N. Ford St.

Grisley, IL 61744

We want to thank 412 Community Church (Mansfield, TX) for their support in connecting us with Lifesong for Orphans and being willing to match donations! Thank you we love you guys!

Here is the link to my Etsy shop: My Sweet Eloise

Thank you all for your support! We could not bring our son home without your help!

Love,

Brad, Charise, Silas, Noah, Ellie, and of course Martin

Finding Peace

The last month has been busy, hard, and exciting. We survived the worst round of stomach flu my husband and I have ever been through...ever.  Unfortunately, I think my kids inherited their stomachs from my side of the family. If someone in our city has the stomach flu we will catch it, we will suffer greatly, and we will most likely spread it to the nations. My husband on the other hand has intestines of steel. I have NEVER seen him throw up in the 9 years that I've known him. This is God's mercy for our little vomiting family. Even if he feels achy, he can still function when the rest of us can't move, much less clean up messes.  I will not share any more details of those catastrophic 2 weeks, but they were a bit traumatizing. Thank the Lord, we have recovered and are making headway on the adoption. 

We got our fingerprints taken at the USCIS office and are waiting for our 171-H form which basically means we are good to go on the U.S. side of things. EXCITING. Now I am preparing our dossier (our big pile of paperwork) to send to our lawyer in Uganda. We still don't exactly know a time-frame but we literally could be several months away from getting a court date depending on how long it takes to do the investigation on Martin's background, etc... We will wait and pray and put our trust in the Lord and trust him to provide for us during this season. 

When Cheryl Sargent came home from Uganda after telling Martin that we were going to adopt him, she gave us a few pictures that she took while she was there that I want to share with you.

 This is Martin as he is looking at the Bible we gave him. We can't show his face until after the adoption but I assure you he has the BEST smile you've ever seen.

Martin colored a picture for Cheryl to give to his brothers Silas and Noah. I took a picture of it so you could see...

At first Brad and I were trying to figure out what it was. He drew a picture of a Sunshine Recorder and he is asking what the use of it is. Brad and I were like...we have NO IDEA what a sunshine recorder is so I googled it! To my surprise,  he drew an exact replica of what a sunshine recorder is.  It is an instrument that measures the amount of sunlight in different geographical regions. This made Brad and I laugh so hard because we knew he must have heard about it in school and seen a picture and wanted to know more about it. It is so random and so cute. I realized after reading his sweet little note that his world has been so small his whole life. He only knows the red dirt roads and little grass huts and rice and beans and a limited amount of information in the school he has only attended for 1 year. The idea that there is a little instrument out there called a sunshine recorder is probably mind-boggling to him.  Life is so simple and slow there. He was not asking God for an electric toothbrush or a playstation because he doesn't even know they exist.  He is thankful to God that he is finally living in a place where he knows that he gets to eat every day, unlike his life before he was brought to the orphanage. He is thankful to the Lord to be alive. 

I've been reading a devotional called "The Hope of Glory" by Sam Storms and it goes through the book of Colossians. A few days ago I read:

 "Peace that comes from God is a kind of peace that, rather than being dependent on material and physical comfort, actually frees you from bondage to physical comforts and liberates you from dependence on worldly conveniences and appliances and whatever else money can buy. This is the abundant Christian life: a peace and joy and satisfaction in God so deep and unmovable and indelible that no amount of suffering can shake it or induce me to take offense at God."

This thought has messed with me lately...in a good way.  I feel like God won't let Brad and I find satisfaction in things lesser than Him and I'm so thankful even thought it is frustrating at time. I know it is out of His great love for us. God is already using our little buddy in Africa teach us more about himself before he has even left Uganda. God is the only one who can give us true peace in a culture that has everything and God is the only one that can give Martin true peace in a culture that has nothing. We all need him. 

Thank you all for all of your support. Please pray for our Lawyer in Uganda as she prepares everything for court. Please pray for us as we wait to bring our son home... that God would fill us with his peace and give us grace trust Him in all things through this process! Love you all!

A Sacred Moment

Yesterday was a ridiculously exciting day for our family.  We found out more information on Martin's background and we were able to tell Martin over the phone that we were his mommy and daddy for the first time. It was an incredible moment! The adoption just became very real and Martin feels like he is more apart of our family than ever!

Cheryl Sargent has been in Uganda for a little over a week...you need to know about Cheryl because she is a big part of our adoption. Her and her husband began the Suubi Project in Uganda about a year and a half ago and they have adopted 3 kids from there. They are walking out our adoption process with us and have been a HUGE blessing to us! One of Cheryl's goals while in Uganda was to go visit Martin's father again and have a very detailed conversation to make sure that he was in full support of the adoption, not only for legal reasons, but because even though Martin has been in an orphanage for over a year, we would not want to take him farther from a loving parent. After one unsuccessful attempt to meet Martin's father, they were able to meet up and talk through everything. Cheryl said that Martin's dad was very excited about his son's opportunity to go to America and have a loving family. He said he believed it was "God's will" for him. WOW!!! Cheryl even offered that we could support Martin to stay in Uganda if that is what is father wanted for him but his father was adamant that he could not take care of him and wanted him to be adopted.  His father told Cheryl that Martin was the 5th born of 10 children, which makes sense because he seems like such a middle child.

After meeting with Martin's father in the city, Cheryl went back to the Suubi Project ready to give Martin our gift and tell him that we wanted to adopt him! We sent a backpack for him (Spiderman of course...our boys helped with that) and a picture that Silas colored for him of Texas where he would come and live with us. We also sent a photo album with pictures of our home and our kids and our family, explaining who his brothers and sisters were and, of course Brad and I. We also sent him an ESV Bible with his name engraved...

So nothing says it like the email Cheryl sent me about her time telling Martin the exciting news so here it is so you can read it from Cheryl's point of view:

"I don't think I can accurately describe the awesomeness of the moment we told these children [Cheryl told 2 other children they were being adopted] they were going to be adopted into families... it was surreal.

Martin was so precious as he went through the picture album.  He spent time looking at each picture intently as I explained each one to him.  Even after I was finished he went back through it.  He particularly liked the ones of his brothers, Noah and Silas.  He also keep looking at the one of Brad and the boys being silly.  He just giggled and giggled!  Arnold read him his letter and made sure he understood it by asking him questions.  Arnold would ask him what his brothers and sister's names were and he would repeat their names each time.  He just smiled the whole time Arnold read to him.

He was so excited about his backpack and the fact that it had wheels was too cool!  He was so sweet about his bible.  When I showed him his name on the front... oh my.  He very carefully opened it and started turning the pages very carefully and thoughtfully.  He treated it as the treasure it is.  Joseph said something to him and he stood up and started 'preaching'.  So precious!

Once we spent a long time just letting him, along with the other 2 children being adopted, soak it all up; we asked if they had any questions.  Martin expressed his desire to see his brothers more than once :)  and he also asked what the name of his school would be.  haha!

It was such an amazing moment for Mindy, Joseph, Arnold and me... realizing that these children woke up in the morning as orphans, but went to bed belonging to families...  I have no words really.  God is so faithful! So incredible...

Right before they headed back to their house, Joseph asked Martin to pray.  We all stood and although I have no idea what Martin said in his prayer... it was a precious moment of thanksgiving to God.  He's one sweet boy, my Friend."

After Cheryl talked to Martin she called me so that I could talk to him. Of course Brad wanted to be there with us so he RUSHED home to be a part of it! It seriously felt like we were having a baby and Brad was rushing to the hospital!

She put him on the phone and I heard him say "Hi mommy!" I could hardly speak...it was so good to hear him call me that! Brad and I took turns telling him how much we loved him and couldn't wait to see him and bring him home to us. He is still learning English so Cheryl helped him understand. He kept asking about when he could see his brothers which melted my heart. At the end of the conversation we said "We love you Martin!" In his broken English we heard him say "I love you mommy and daddy. Thank you very, very much." 

I about drove to the airport to fly over there at this point. Brad and I just stared at the phone after we hung up. We knew our lives were changed forever. Who knows why God had us come on staff at Grace Community and meet the Sargents who started The Suubi Project and go to Uganda...to this random, tiny little village, and fall in love with this little 8 year old boy. It is God's perfect design and it is a better story than we could have ever written for ourselves. 

Remembering the WHY

A lot has happened since our last update!

Our first big update is that we got our completed home study in the mail! That is a big piece in our process so we just completed our I600a (application to advance processing of orphan petition form) and mailed it on Friday.  We will wait for them to approve our application and to send us a date to go get fingerprinted by the USCIS. One step at a time!!!

Two Sundays ago we had the opportunity to go speak at a church in Mansfield called 412.  Brad is good friends with the pastor and when they heard that we had begun our adoption process, they asked us to come and speak and share our story. We were so excited to speak and encourage others towards adoption even though we were early in the process.  Now... we don't get too carried away with the phrase spiritual warfare and blame every little stubbed toe or circumstance on that, but the Bible is clear that it is something we face and we have definitely have realized how much of it we are facing as we adopt. The night before we spoke Brad was jumping on the trampoline with all 3 of our kids and got big by a brown recluse spider, right side of his body started to go numb...I mean...its all good until something goes numb. He went to the ER and got a steroid shot which helped the reaction. Same night, Ellie's foot got bit all over by fire ants so she didn't sleep well the night before we spoke. Woke up Sunday morning to the boys yelling in the bathroom and our toilet was gushing out water all over the floor into our carpeted hallway. Awesome wake-up call. Then the night after we spoke Silas face faceplanted on our freshly cleaned hardwood floors so hard that his face swelled up and his eye turned black. This is my tough and coordinated kid so I don't ever see him that upset. Then just lost of little things in between all that. I just started praying on our way to the Church in the pouring rain that we wouldn't get discouraged and that God would really use us and use the Church in our lives. He did just that!

We were so glad we spoke at 412. It was so awesome to be prayed for and encouraged and supported by brothers and sisters in Christ.  It was really good for Brad and I to share our story also. I felt like as we were talking, my faith and confidence in what we are doing was built by remembering everything God has done and shown us throughout this process. I pray that they were encouraged and excited about God's heart for orphans. Like Brad said "God has called EVERYONE to care for the orphans in the world, it just may look differently for each person."  Later that night after we spoke and after the rain had stopped and Silas had calmed down from his hard spill we saw this beautiful rainbow outside that I just had to take a picture of. It was good to take a deep breath and remember God's faithfulness.

We needed that before the week that was ahead of us!

Over the weekend we did something I never thought I would do as a mother of 3 young kids….A GARAGE SALE. Not just a normal garage sale….A MASSIVE garage sale. We sent out a facebook message and spread the word that we were accepting items to sell to raise money for our adoption and we collected them for about a month and a half. Collecting “stuff” goes against my nature as an organizer so it was a bit out of my comfort zone. I printed off a couple of pictures of Martin and framed them around my house so I wouldn't lose sight of why I was doing something so NUTS and exhausting. We were AMAZED at the response of family and friends. The "stuff" came pouring in! And I do mean good stuff...treadmills, instruments, books, patio furniture, and pretty much every random thing you can imagine! This is what my garage looking like before the garage sale. Now keep in mind...our garage is typically EMPTY. Notice the one tiny path that was left to get in and out. There was even more furniture in our back yard and in our shed. Thank the LORD there was no rain that week!

My sweet family (older sis, younger sis, younger brother, and parents) live up in Kansas City...I sure missed them this month! If they lived here, they would have been so involved and they were aching to be here. They support us in every creative way you can imagine from KC! Brad's family does live down here which is a huge blessing. My sweet mother-in-law Sue sold her soul to our garage sale and helped me take each and every box and bag and sort through them all so we had some ORDER before we started labeling prices. I know I could have just thrown everything out there and had people make me an offer and save time. But honestly, I HATE going to those garage sales. I mean... are you going to glare at me if I offer $1 for a sweater because your sweet grandma gave it to you and the memories demand $10??? I'm not going to do that to people.

This was day 1 of the sale. Silas had a fever the night before so he stayed home from school and I got up with him around 4:45am to give him some medicine and never went back to sleep since we were getting up at 5:15am anyway. Needless to say, I kept the caffein flowing that day.

Here Silas is checking out the toys and games. Even when he is not feeling well, it is so difficult for him to even sit down.

Why is that there are certain games they NEVER touch when they are in your house, but the second you want to sell them, suddenly it is their favorite! Good opportunity to explain WHY we are doing the garage sale!

Here is Brad and I and my mother-in-law in action!

Here is Spike. You need to know about Spike. He helps Brad lead the college ministry and he is awesome. He is like a member of our family. Spike went to Uganda with us and has been supporting us every step of the way in our adoption. He helped Brad pick up all the big furniture for our garage sale, he came at the crack of dawn to help us set up, and he stayed all day to serve. He is compelled by the love of Jesus and I am compelled to tell you about him, because we love him dearly.

A sweet friend made these signs for us to hang around our sale which was awesome and sparked great discussions with people who came to our sale.

Ellie loves bin and containers...she's just like me. We just use them in different ways :o)

This is Caitlin and Rachel and Spike...we are missing Allison in this picture...but those 4 friends helped us all weekend. We absolutely could not have done it without them! I also had a sweet friend, Melissa drop off all sorts of fresh and wonderful food for lunch for all of us. My sweet sister-in-laws even took our kids to the zoo on Friday which was a HUGE blessing! I am always amazed at how much support we have and how sacrificial our friends and family are! I can't wait to show Martin pictures and how loved he is by people who haven't even met him yet.

Get ready to wrap your brain around this....we raised close to $3000 over the 2 days. That is NUTS! It was worth all of the hours and sacrifices and exhaustion that it required. We are so thankful that God is providing for us each step of the way! I sat down on the couch that night for the first time all day and just remembered that Jesus died to adopt me when I was an enemy of him. I look at a picture of Martin and remember WHY. That is so important for an organizer like me through this process! Its for our little buddy sleeping in an orphanage in Africa!

Please pray for us this week. Cheryl Sargent (who started the Suubi project in Uganda with her husband) is going back to Uganda on Tuesday. She is going to meet with Martin's dad one more time to finalize his support of our adoption one more time. If everything goes as planned, we will skype and tell Martin that we are adopting him for the first time. We are so exciting and nervous and praying that God will show us the perfect timing to tell him and that he will prepare Martin's heart for what is ahead.

Thank you all for your love and prayers! 

Mothers, Fathers, Aunties, and Uncles

When Charise and I went to Uganda, I discovered we were adopted by the children before we had a chance to carry out our mission of adoption!  From the get go the kids referred to us as “Mommy” and “Auntie” or “Daddy” and “Uncle” (unfortunately the text totally loses the epic, little kid, British accent).  They held our hands, jumped in our laps, and wanted us to carry them on our shoulders.  Just like with my own kids, I had to be careful not to let them laugh too hard while on my shoulders because I could literally feel their drool smack my baldhead…awesome!  In a lot of ways, it felt like I had not left my biological kids on the other side of the world!  In less than 24 hours of knowing each other we all fit into our familial roles.  It was absolutely beautiful!

           

Seeing this process unfold brought a deeper revelation of how God sees family.  I have understood this idea of having brothers and sisters in Christ bound by the blood of Christ in theory but now, a tangible reality.  In the devastation, brokenness, and desperation these children cry out to us to be what they lack - family.  Most of these children have no clue what the word “adoption” even means.  They just know what they need – a mom and a dad and they designated us to be that.  It is funny how in desperation we often see what the core of our being is in need of.  When my soul was in turmoil and desperate, I cried out to God, but I didn’t call him God, I called him Father because that is what I knew I needed.  I did not need “The Man Upstairs”.  I did not need a moral code to follow.  I needed the comfort and unconditional love of a father, and my desperation led me to call on Him, The Father of the fatherless (Psalm 68:5).            

What I have begun to realize is that our little Martin has a huge family!  I believe that adoption is a call to all followers of Jesus (James 1:27), but it will look a little different for everyone.  I have been absolutely wrecked to see how many friends and family members of ours have been faithful to partner in our adoption.  From prayer, donations, counsel, work bonuses, one friend started cutting two lawns a week to help support us, and I just found out another friend got a part time job at Starbucks and wants to give us all the money he makes (what the …???!!!).  There is a precious little boy in Uganda who cries out in his desperation for a family and what I am finding out is he has mommies, daddies, aunties, and uncles everywhere answering his cry! 

We know the road is still long ahead of us, but our lives have already been so much richer watching the body of Christ function like Christ.  Our tears and thank you’s would not even come close!  We love you.  

Age updates and quirky kiddos

Well good news about Martin’s age. We still don’t know for SURE what his age is in actuality but we did discover some government documentation stating that he turned 7 in May, 2011 which would make him JUST now 8 years old. This may not actually be accurate but it is awesome to have documentation showing he should be around 8 years old. This was a huge relief to us. Not only for legal reasons, since one of us needs to be 21 years older than him and Brad turns 31 in November, but also because 8 (ish) seems so much better to me than 10 as a mom who is only 27 years old. Silas just turned 6 so Martin is just 2 years ahead, which I think is a good age-gap. We recently met with a sweet couple from our church who has adopted 2 kids from Russia and when I told the mom that I had originally wanted to adopt a baby girl, she reminded me that it is always best to let God structure your family. Amen to that! His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. That has given me so much peace throughout this decision-making process. It is so funny to see God working in our lives. I remember having a conversation with Brad before we went on our missions trip to Uganda about how I think we could be done having kids. Life could be more simple….maybe I could even find a way to make some extra income when Ellie gets older and we can have lots of SAVINGS and live “COMFORTABLY” and sit on the back porch and sip tea while our older kids peacefully go to bed…haha! I don’t think that comfortable world exists even with 3 older kids and I don’t think this kind of comfort is truly as comforting as I dream it to be. I think God has a much greater adventure in store for our entire family. It will surely be messy at times, it will surely require much sacrifice as it already has, we may lose sleep and wonder why we considered something so nuts as adoption, but I know it will be for God’s glory and our joy. We are so early in the process and already I have seen my kids want to sacrifice their belongings in order to adopt Martin, I have heard our kids praying for him and the other orphans daily, I have seen a hunger for prayer and God’s word increase in our lives, I have seen God give us energy for all of the things on our plate, I have felt God grow our love for a little boy half-way around the world more than I could have ever imagined, and I have seen God graciously confirm to me over and over that this is will is for us. We finally completed our 10 hours of online training and now we wait for the results of our home study from our social worker which should take around 2 weeks.

This week God was giving me a great appreciate for my quirky gang of kids here at the house. We are loud and opinionated and a bit scary at times, but we sure know how to have fun. 

 Silas and Noah are 19 months apart. We did not intend to have children so close in age. That was completely God's idea. The early days and months and even years with these boys and their opposite personalities were INTENSE to say the least. The growing that God did in Brad and I during those early months and years were so hard on our flesh, and so good for our souls. I see how much God uses Noah in Silas' life and Silas' in Noah's life. Boys are strong and they are exhausting and messy and destructive and yet I LOVE them to pieces. Wouldn't trade them for anything.

Ellie figured out last week how to be a diva. This is her "life is too boring so I need add some drama" face. There is really no reason for this. She does this face in her high chair all the time....but the face doesn't ever last for long....Its as if she knows that the drama is ridiculous.

Superheroes are a pretty big part of our lives. We wear costumes year round and we take the characters very seriously.

 My word for Silas is "EXTREME." Everything he does is extreme. Notice his costume wasn't extreme enough so he had to add a little bling to it for effect. I have many memories with this boy...we've scared many mothers in public. Silas is often seen don't flips off of random ledges, roaring, speaking his mind to strangers, and using objects and equipment in more creative ways than most... ya...that's a nice way to put it. :o)

 One more aspect of my quirky crazies that I love so much is that they have a deep appreciate for "COZINESS." Last night before bed, Silas decided to help Noah set up camp in a tiny corner while sitting on about 10 pillows and blankets and surrounded by their favorite toys and books just so they could be COZY!!! I love it.

I would like to leave you with a verse I read this morning that has stuck with me: "But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." Acts 19:24

Thank you for all your love and support!

Dinner For Two...on a Christmas Blanket

Going on dates is extremely important to Brad and I. We pretty much new as soon as Brad began working in ministry in 2008, that having time away together was vital to our marriage. We refuse to allow our marriage to work like a business....which it SO easily turns into. "I'll take care of this, you take care of that, I'll get up with the baby this time if you pay me back later... meet me back here at 5:30pm after work for our next business meeting..." We can't change the fact that our lives are a little nutty right now: 3 kids (ages 6, 4, 1), an adoption process (make that 4 kids!), and ministry (lots of people, lots of events, lots of ups and downs) . We love our lives and the crazy in it has really taught us what it means to find peace and rest, not through circumstances, but in our savior Jesus Christ. We know that dates won't cure any heart issues and they really aren't the answer to fixing a marriage like we've been told at times. Jesus is the only answer to those, but dates are a very useful tool in marriage. Lately we've been trying to save money so we haven't been going on dates as often, which actually helps us appreciate them more. So last night we got a babysitter for Silas and Ellie (Noah spent the night with his best bud) and we hopped in Brad's big 'ol white chevy truck, turned on some country music and headed out to Fort Worth...it is scary how much of a Texan I'm turning into after only living here for 4 and half years.

 We went to one of my favorite places: The Central Market in Fort Worth. I love just walking through the aisles with my husband and smelling, sampling, and dreaming of all the possibilities for perfectly healthy and delicious meals that I could make but never will because I have not yet won the lottery.  We picked out a few of our favorites for dinner and headed to the botanical gardens in Fort Worth.

 *Sigh...I love this moment. This is my "I'm on a date with my husband and I'm about to eat the best tomato soup EVER smile."

Here's my hubby! Because my SLR camera is too giant to take those cute little snuggle, while you awkwardly hold out your arm and force a smile pictures, we took them separately...just so you know that both of us in fact were present on our date :o)

This is how we roll: tomato soup, fresh rolls, sushi, chicken salad, and blueberry pie sitting on top of Christmas blankets.

It was a beautiful night. August in Texas is typically less than beautiful. This cool night, with a sunset that brought me back to my childhood in Kansas, eating good food with the man I love, talking and laughing about life, was such a gift to us. I'm such a task-oriented person, so give me a list of to-dos and I will put my head down and GO until I don't even realize how physically and mentally drained I am. This is where my husband comes in and forces me to just STOP. What I'm learning is that the tasks and the laundry and the paperwork and the dishes are ALWAYS there. They can ALWAYS consume me if I let them and all the while I will miss out on finding true joy in what God has put around me. That is my absolute downfall. This is why God designed my husband to be relationship-oriented, fun, and last minute. We are so very different. We were both very excited last night when we realized that both of us LOVE Fall...it is our favorite season! We DO have something in common! I'm so thankful that a healthy marriage doesn't hinge on commonalities!

For those of you who don't know anything about us or our marriage, here is our history in a very tight nutshell: I met Brad in college in 2003 through his sister Anna, Brad and I instantly connect, and Brad calls me up like a real man and asked me to go on a date. From there we dated for 5 months, got engaged, engaged for 6 months, married November 20th 2004, after 10 months of marriage, got pregnant with Silas, had Silas, when Silas was 10 months old, got pregnant with Noah, when Noah was 2 months old, we knew we were called into ministry and we moved away from our dear families in Kansas City down to Arlington, TX to go on staff at our Church, settled down here and got pregnant with Ellie when Noah was almost 3. So here we are almost 8 years into marriage and doing really well, by the grace of God! PHEW!!! If you need to go take a nap, I completely understand.

I could write forever on marriage but all I want to say is that every day we learn how much we need Jesus. In our marriage, in our parenting, in our ministry, in our adoption process. Last night was such a good chance to remember this, to celebrate, and to love each other. I am very blessed.

Real Men Adopt!

I read this article a few weeks ago and I have not been able to stop thinking about it!  I don't know why adoption seems to be promoted primarily through faithful women (bless them for that), but seriously, where are all the dudes at???  Thank you David Prince for reminding us that no man-card needs to be surrendered to carry out this mandate from Jesus Christ himself - the manliest of them all!

Check it out...

The Manliness of Adoption - Testosterone and Pure Religion

Beginnings

I'm excited to share what is going on in our lives for whoever may read it in hopes to encourage others and to have a place to document this journey! I want to look back on all God has done and praise Him for all of it. I'm a stay-home mom with 3 kids, a pastors wife, and in the process of adopting a little boy from Uganda! I am a planner, organizer, excel spreadsheet maker, and I love watching God take my "plans" and turn them into something so much better. I'm living in a house of crazies....seriously some of the most entertaining people on the earth and I figure the public MUST know about them! So here is my gang of Marvines (pronounced MARVIN...who knows why there in an "E").

My husband is an incredible man...doesn't he look so manly holding that drill and standing over piles of wood? I just love him. He may be the most opposite person of me right down to the tiny details of life like how we like our chips and salsa, but this man was put on this earth to be married to me. He teaches me how to laugh more, feel more, love more, and look to Jesus when I forget.

 I call Silas James "my strength." There are more muscles, personality, adventure, will, boy-hood and charisma packed into that little body than I thought possible in a human being. He came out of the womb sharing his strong opinions and hasn't stopped in 6 years. He is in 1st grade and freaking me out with his mature conversations. The other day after he got too rough with his brother he tried to convince me that he shouldn't have a consequence because I was a girl and I just didn't understand..."God made brothers to be rough with each other". Huh? What 6 year old thinks of that....there are many more stories to come about this crazy Marvine man!

 Noah Jordan is "my sweetness." He is our BFG (Big Friendly Giant). He is 4 years old and is the same size as his brother with bigger feet. He is sweet, shy, gentle, and OBSESSED with all things superhero/ninjago/transformers. The child loves toys. Sometimes at night he tiptoes in our room hours after we put him to bed and hands us a pile of his beloved action figures and says "will you put these somewhere far away so I won't be tempted to play with them?" Brad and I just love how his little mind works and his awesome questions like "mom why do we have tongues?" He is so sweet with his baby sister and is always giving random hugs and kisses that warm my heart!

There is a whole lot of boy-ness everywhere! I just love boys! They make life so exciting, they get me way out of my comfort zone, and they teach me to chill out and have fun! And yet there is some pink going on too...

Don't you want to squeeze her? This is my sweet girl Eloise Joy "Ellie" who I call "my sunshine." My mom thought of that name and I think it is absolutely perfect for her. She is so happy, so sweet, and so busy! She is now 14 months old and already a little mommy, feeding her baby dolls, trying on shoes and following her brothers around the house laughing while carrying action figures. She is always up for a laugh and I just love how she assumes that the world exists for her entertainment: if I blow my nose she erupts into laughter because mommy must be trying to make her giggle! I love this girl SO MUCH!

Ok so those are the introductions. Brad is the true writer of the family so he may be on here occasionally and he came up with the name "Held Together" for this blog. It is based off of the verse Colossians 1:17 "He is before all things, and in him all things hold together." This is a verse that has meant so much to me, especially in the process of adoption which we recently began. I struggle so much with feeling like I have too much control and I'm going to screw it all up...well I might screw things up, but God knew I would and I am only part of his creation who cannot mess up God's ultimate plans! Thank you Jesus! He is holding this family, marriage, adoption process, and my sanity together!

So why on earth are we considering adoption in this crazy life of ours? Brad and I took a trip in June to Uganda to support The Suubi Project which was started by an incredible family in our church. The suubi project is an orphanage, school, and church outside the capitol city of Kampala that is reaching people for God's glory. We left our kids with family for 10 days to go and preach, teach, help with a VBS, lead worship, and just love on the people who were there. It was hard and dirty and INCREDIBLE. It was so good to see what God is doing around the world and to be a part of it.

 Here is Brad leading the kids to their next station at VBS...he was pretty much in love with those kids by day 2.

 Here I am teaching songs to the kids during VBS...one of my favorite times of the day!

While we were there we spent a lot of time with the 13 kids who live in the orphanage near our guest house.  I knew this could be dangerous for Brad and I...hanging out with sweet, adorable, parent-less children. My idea of adoption was: fall in love with the Ugandan culture and come back in 4-5 years when Ellie and the boys are older and adopt a baby girl. So what was God's idea: adopt an OLDER BOY RIGHT NOW. Brad and I both absolutely fell in love with a little boy named Martin. We are still trying to find out how old he is, we think between 7-9 years old. He was very quiet and sweet and was always seen serving the kids around him. I tried not to want to be his mom because that was just a scary thought...where has he been all his life...I want a sister for ellie...life is too insane right now to adopt, but God did something to me. One day I was walking back to the house from a long day of VBS and Martin ran down the path, jumped into my arms, and said "HI MOMMY!" He took all of the bags off of my arms and carried them up to the house for me. What am I supposed to do with that? There were so many older kids there with no father, no mother, no family structure. I can give up my idea of adopting a baby girl for now to give one of these older kids a family for the first time if that is what God wants for us right now.

When Brad and I came home we were very ready to see our sweet kids and to pray and listen to the Lord's voice on what we were supposed to do with our love for this little boy. Adoption is such a scary thing for a planner like me...you can't plan or control ANY OF IT!!! Brad and I prayed together and separately and both felt God confirming to us in many ways that he wants us to pursue Martin and to TRUST HIM with the big picture and the end result. So my job is to take one step at a time and trust the Lord with all the many questions and fears that I have that I don't get to know the answer to right now. My heavenly father sent his son to DIE in order to adopt me and he has called us to adopt Martin, no matter what suffering may come. We know that our God will never leave us or forsake us and that is where our confidence lies.

So where are we at right now????

We just completed our home study a few days ago and are finishing some paperwork from that. I am still learning what the process is going to look like but we know it can take anywhere from 4 months to 2 years! In the midst of piles of paperwork we are working on doing some fundraising because we can expect this process to cost around $20,000…go ahead and gasp…I did when I heard it. If this is what the Lord wants for us, he will provide it!

Please pray for us! We have already seen what incredible things happen through prayer! God provided the money for our home study and we did not know where that would come from! We did recently find out Noah has to have his 3rd eye surgery in September or October which will be a big chunk of money that we know that God is fully aware of. Please pray for his surgery as well as our adoption process! If you feel led to help us out financially in this process you can donate through the paypal button on my blog. We are in the process of custom-designing a puzzle as a symbol of how God brought the pieces together for us to bring home Martin. You can purchase a puzzle piece for $25 and your name will go on the back of the puzzle piece to show how you were a part of bringing him home to us. We will be framing it and hanging it in our home. There is more info to come on that fundraiser!

We know that God will provide the strength, the courage, the funds, the patience, and the Grace to endure and find joy through this process!